the best slow fast-food

When I am in Vienna, I always go to my favourite place: the Naschmarkt, which is Vienna's biggest and most touristic market. I love to go there an buy cheese (my favourite is a matured Goat Gouda), herbs (the cheapest place in Austria to buy cilantro), curry pastes and my beloved falafel (after years of testing I found tthe tastiest at Dr Falafel). I also love the things they grill at the market different restaurants: Kofte at okzident, calamari at Do-An. At Kurkonditorei Oberlaaan one can find an mouth-watering chocolate cake.

Last weekend, Andi F took me to another market, the Brunnenmarkt. And the experience was incredible: One third of the stands were selling fruits and vegetables at very cheap prices (I assume it was because the products were ripe and needed to be sold soon, but the fruits were at their best stage). Another third of the stands was selling nuts, seeds and cheese (from Denmark, Holland, Italy and Austria) and the resting third, were stands selling the most useless Chinese products in history: battery-operated plush pets in horrendous colours, awful baseball caps and the cheapest clothes you can ever imagine.

For us, the best in the market were the few places you can get prepared food: We saw real kepab (were you can see that the meat was manually placed into that rotating pole), fresh fish they clean for you to cook home or if you prefer, they grill and serve the fish for you. But the best of this stands was a real slow food stand:

It looked like a normal fast-food stand and inside there were three Turks: One thin guy in his early 50's and two obese women, whose age we were unable to guess. They seemed old, but with some married Turkish women you can never know if they are 30 or 60.

This Turkish version of an Italian mamma, were preparing in a very calm way, somethin that looked like a home-style borek. The ladies were slowly rolling dough, forming pizza-like shapes, then they carefully topp this „tortillas“ with plenty olive-size portions of cooked and seasoned spinach, grounded meat, potatoes or sheep cheese, depending on the client's taste. After finishing the topping, these mammas folded the dough to form a square the size of a DVD case and cooked them on a huge pan which seemed to be upside down.

We ordered one of this Turkisch crepes filed with spinach and got 10 minutes later. The process was easy and the cooking took only 3 to 4 minutes, but the acurate and love-full preparation of this dish took over 10 minutes.

Seeing this entire process was beautufil, but to taste it, it was a culinary-trip to a small village in Anatolia and back to Vienna for only €1.5

I am not exagerating, it was the best „slow“ fast-food experience I've had in Europe.

the cosmopolitan city which smells like fermented cows's shit

Innsbruck is a small city with politicians with a big complex: Innsbruck is very small and rural. Some days the city even smells of compost when the farmers fertilise their fields.

Since I came to Innsbruck, 14 years ago, politicians have tried to win back the Olympic games twice, but, any normal person knows that they could never be successful! Who the hell could give them the winter Olympic games for a third time?

Some years ago, those politicians tried to make the inner city a UNESCO heritage site because of its ancient buildings, and when their proposal was rejected, they tried to make a city known for its modern architecture. Now, Innsbruck is the only city in the world with two buildings designed by Zaha Hadid. This is almost embarrassing...it's like if a guy in his midlife crisis buys two red Ferraris.

In 2004, the city hall was turned into a shopping centre. And since that day, the government presents Innsbruck as a "Weltstadt" which means cosmopolitan city. A Barcelonese friend of mine used to work for the marketing firm behind this concept and she told me that since this shoppings centre had a Mango store and a Müller (a German drugstore chain), the city was now cosmopolitan!

Independently of all this stupid campaigns (Sports, architecture and shopping), I experienced a truly cosmopolitan moment last Friday:

There is a farmer's market each Friday in the city centre. I was hungry and went there to get a Kiachl with Sauerkraut. A kiachl is nothing but fried dough, which reminds of a doughnut without sugar or frosting on it. The owners of the kiachl stand was a couple in their fifties. The man was preparing them and the woman collecting the money. It was a little bit weird to hear that the couple spoke English among them, I then realised that she was British and he Tyrolean. While preparing my Kiachl, the cook was talking to the city's Vice-Major (probably one of those politicians investing money to present Innsbruck as the only cosmopolitan city in the world which smells like fermented cows's shit). Right after me, two Turkish girls asked in perfect German if the Sauerkraut had bacon bit in it. The British Kiachl seller replied that they only sell vegetarian sauerkraut, because they themselves are strict vegetarians.

While eating my kiachl I had two thoughts "First: the sauerkraut is great, and second, Innsbruck is indeed a cosmopolitan city".

Go to any place on earth and if you find a vegetarian couple older than 50 selling regional products (and they being foreigners themselves), and if their clients are politicians, locals and locals with migration background, you surely are in a cosmopolitan place.

Happy Guys Finish Last

Jessica L. Tracy and Alec T. Beall from the Psychology department at the University of British Columbia recently published a study called "Happy Guys Finish Last: The Impact of Emotion Expressions on Sexual Attraction", they did not only achieved international success within the scientific community, but they also had media impact internationally (I read that in an Austrian news-website)

Tracy and Beall suggest that "Showing a happy face is considered essential to any
friendly social interaction, including those involving sexual attraction" but this
applies only for women! The study states that "women may find male pride displays
more attractive than male happiness".

Now my story:

Between 2008 and 2009 I was not very lucky with women, let me quote again (but this
time myself), "I will try emotional chastity". Reasons for this? During my stay in Nicaragua (and the 18 months prior to that) I was not happy with my non-existing emotional life.

What went wrong with the ladies? During that period, I was not always happy, or at
least I did not look happy. So, I assume that my face and body expressed more
seriousness, even sadness.

So: during 2008 and 2009, I did not laugh much, but women did not find me attractive!

Ms tracy and Mr Beall, I can prove you wrong!

Summarising:
a) I was a serious man (almost an emo) for two years
b) there we no women queuing to meet me during this period
c) I am dating a girl
d) I am permanently smiling

Thesis by Tracy and Beall: "Happy Guys Finish Last"

Thesis by me: I am a happy guy who will finish last

Synthesis: Happy guys don't care if they finish first...or last


P.S. Here is the link to the study of Tracy and Beall

Peculiar coins

There are three famous personalities I really hate. I am sure that the world would have been a better place if they would have never been born.

Curiously they all worked for the same organisation. The first of this monsters is josémaría escrivá. He founded the opus gay, better known as the opus dei. No one on earth thinks more often in sex than them. Just imagine that many of the opus gay members cover their bodies while taking a shower, because if they see themselves naked they may think of sex - and that is a sin for them! Here is my favourite one: If you think of something dirty (like a mom breast-feeding her baby), you will have to flagellate yourself and pray at the same time. Once, an opus gay member told my brother "I flagellate myself while praying, it hurts, but after some time I started liking it. FREAKS!!!

The other guy I hate is marcial masiel. He was a very good friend of karol wojtila (he is the next in my list). This priest was the best manager that the catholic church has seen (cerated an imperium of 650 million USD). That is probably why the vatican under Karol Wojtila never said anything to him when they discovered what "father masiel" was doing: He sexually abused of many children and teenagers...including his own children. SICK!!!

And the most famous celebrity I hate: karol wojtila a.k.a. as Pope Johannes Paulus the second. He did nothing, absolutely nothing to stop the bastards I mentioned above, and he knew them personally. ASSHOLE!!!

The worst of all: Two of these animals have achieved the first step in becoming
saints according to the catholic church...IDIOTS!!!

Last week I went to a bar, when I paid I received a 50 Cent coin, and as usual,
I inspected the coin to see it's country of origin. It was a nice surprise to discover that the coin was from the vatican city. Since they are not frecuent, they have a high numismatic value. My karol wojtila 50 cent coin is 6 Euros worth. Nice to have that bastard on my coin!!!

P.S. If I hurted your feelings by expressing the way I did in this entry, sorry but your religion has sick and crazy leaders...

P.S. 2 I don't like the catholic church, but I love their coins!!!

a smart accident

19 months ago I started to write this blog. Common themes have been food, childhood, prosecco, family and friends. However, there is something I haven't written about yet: fear

Last Saturday, I had a wonderful afternoon. Hannes, his parents, Roland and Magdalena, Lindsey, Andrea and I made a nice picnic in the garden. We had prosecco, roasted almonds, crostini with green olive paste, wasabi-gouda and strawberries. After that, we had dinner with the Quantschnigs (Roland and Magdalena invited us). After dinning, we walked to one of Innsbruck's most beautiful squares and had a drink there. Hannes’ parents left and then we headed to a bar and stayed there until half past one.

On our way home, Andrea was riding her bike in front of me when all of a sudden she was hit by a car. She didn’t see the car coming from her left side…Andre was very lucky because the driver reacted promptly (and that the car was a smart). However, as a consequence of the impact, she lost consciousness for about twenty seconds.

Many people helped after the accident. A guy stopped the cars, another called the paramedics (who arrived 4-5 minutes later) and a man gave her his jacket (she seemed cold, since her body was shaking, probably because of the contusion). I did the best I could, I carefully moved her head to allow easy breathing, put my jacket over her, verified if she could move her legs and then raised her knees to keep the blood on her chest, and talked to her all the time in order to calm her.

All this time I remained serene. We drove to the hospital, talked to the doctors, answered the policemen's questions (we both had an alcohol test, which was negative in both cases), I had to explain Andrea repeatedly what happened. After taking x-rays and an ultrasound test, the hospital personnel took her to another floor where she spent the night. I had to leave the hospital.

Only then my fear started.

I took a cab in order not to see people; the taxi-driver drove through the accident's site, which did not help at all. When I was in bed I started crying. I was so afraid because I was no longer with her, holding her hand. I was extremely worried that something could happen to her during the night. I can't remember crying so strong ever. I cried so hard and for so long that I was completely exhausted, that helped me to sleep well.

The next morning, Andrea woke me up with a text message; she was doing way much better. I went to the hospital without any fear and only then I realised that during the night I let out the fear caused by the shock of seeing the accident. My body and mind were restored.

Andrea broke no bones and was released from the hospital on Tuesday noon. She is doing very well; today she told me she quit taking the painkillers...respect!!!

I am including a picture of her so you can see that she is doing well :)

Cheese and Whisky

Last year I took someone a picture with a digital camera and I was amazed because for the first time I saw tiny red squares moving around the camera's display. It took me a while to understand that those red squares were following the faces of the people in the screen. Suddenly, a message appeared in the display telling "laugh-identifier is on"; I was astonished to see that the camera "knew" if people were laughing or not, and only when all people in the display were showing their best smile, the camera took the picture.

I enjoy taking photos with my mobile, but I really love taking pictures with analogue cameras. I am the proud owner of a polaroid, of a half-format camera, of a semi-automatic cannon (from the 1980s) and since two years I use disposable cameras and I love them! You can even play football with them and the worst thing that can happens is that the flash triggers after each kick (I tried this in new year's eve with my nephew Santiago).

Some people when taking group pictures ask the people to say "Cheese" or "Whisky", I think this is because when people pronounce the "ee" in cheese or the "y" in whisky, their face appear to be smiling. I wonder why photographers never asked us to say "the eels", instead of the usual terms for matured milk with salt or fermented and distilled cereals. Maybe the band (the eels is a wonderful band) is not known enough. However, saying "Cheese" or "Whishy" is old school, now the cameras do that on their own.

By the way, I have to show you what it happened to me in Vienna last weekend! I was taking pictures of tulips when my inner voice told me "Oscar say cheese when you shot the next picture". I dis so...in the link below you can see what happened.

Use this link to discover what happened and use this other link to hear eels' sweetest song.

P.S. I recommend you to combine the links hear the eels and see the pics

the Czech extra kilos

I stop drinking beer in 2007. Ever since, I only had one at Munich’s airport in 2007, one at a friend’s wedding in 2009, and a few in Nicaragua (beer was my prosecco substitute in Central America).

The reason for quitting was the relation between beer consumption and my increasing body fat-index.

Last Friday I travelled to Prague for working reasons. We stayed in a nice hotel with a huge breakfast buffet.

The very first morning, I was late for our meeting and only had 5 minutes for breakfast (literally 5 minutes). While having breakfast I felt like breaking a Guinness record. I cut my fried egg and some bacon stripes and built four portions I ate in four bites (around 15 seconds per portion, 60 seconds). On the side I had baked beans and cucumber; I mixed the beans with cucumber to have a “healthy” version of an English breakfast. I exterminated those guys also in 60 seconds. While doing all this I brew myself a cup of earl grey (3 minutes). I never ate so fast in my life, but at least I was on time for the meeting.

During the resting days I ate like Conan the barbarian: Beef, goose, dumplings, Gulasch, kraut, potatoes…and beer.

I came back yesterday from Prague after five and a half days of work (12 hours a day) and at least 15 litres of Kozel, Zlatoplamen, Pilsner Urquell and Budweiser.

Already on Sunday I felt my body was not content with the amounts of Czech food and beer I was consuming, that day I started having oats and fruits for breakfast until I discovered miso-soup at the end of the buffet line…thank you hotel manager!

This morning I called my friend Kathrin, who knows an ayurvedic treatment for expelling toxins from one’s body. She warned me that the preparation for this regimen lasts between 4 and 5 days (no sugar, no pasta, no alcohol), and only then the real treatment begins. This is hard core! I think I won’t try Kathrin’s treatment this time. Until then, I hope I can cope with my Czech extra kilos.