Instead of focusing on the audit, I started to work on my telepathic forces

I first heard about whisper interpreters about 6-7 years ago. It was 2003 or 2004, and two Spanish friends of mine told us about it, well actually, they told Hannes and he told me.

Since Sunday I am in Baku, Azerbaijan. It is very nice here; I love communist architecture and Muslim food and tea culture, and Azerbaijan has both: It was part of the USSR and its inhabitants are Muslims.

Even though I have not been for more than one day in many Muslim cities, but being in Baku feels good, and it is a women-friendly Muslim city: There are no hundreds of men bothering, or intimidating women. I remember how hard was it for me and my brother to cope with the dozens of men bothering my sister in Aswan, or all men at the bazaar in Istanbul making pseudo-jokes about women, or the most sad incident: some weeks ago at Tahir square in Cairo, women were demonstrating against the social tolerance of sexual offences on women, when a group of assholes went deliberately to the square to molest and touch the women demonstrating.

Soviets prohibited religion during 71 years and the result is a very tolerant city with a Muslim majority, but Christians, Catholics and some Jews live also here. Women wear skirts on the streets and no one grab their intimate parts, and women don’t receiving public physical punishment for provoking bad thoughts on men.

The other Soviets legacy in Azerbaijan is Russian. I am in Baku because I am joining my Georgian colleague in a 4-day quality audit. The audit is in Russian, so we had to hire a whisper interpreter.

On the audit’s first day, I felt important: The director, some of his co-workers, the Georgian auditor and I were in the room. We were only waiting for the interpreter. He arrived 10 minutes late, sat next to me and immediately began to translate.

Elmar, my interpreter is from Azerbaijan. Azeris are Eurasians, and many Asian men are (for our western culture) very touchy! They hug other men and even held hands as a sign of friendship.

Have you ever wish you could have the power of telepathy?

Elmar was sitting behind me translating and every time he came closer, he suddenly put his hand on my chair’s back, then right besides my leg. It was uncomfortable! But this was not the only thing: Elmar had bad breath! Do you know how it is to be whispered by a man with bad breath? I hope you don’t…

After some time, we were offered black tea and caramels. Instead of focusing on the audit, I started to work on my telepathic forces “Please drink the tea and have a caramel, please drink tea and have a caramel, please!!!” They were the worst 10 minutes this year, a living hell... Elmar finally reacted to my message, he took a sip of tea and had a caramel and with this, his bad breath disappeared.

Then I started with my telepathy again: “Please move away from me, please don’t touch my hand with yours, please!!!” But that did not work…